Sebastian Aho and Teuvo Teravainen
It’s only fitting that the Carolina Hurricanes dynamic finnish duo get paired together. If Batman and Robin were in Smash Brothers Ultimate then this would be the easiest decision I would be making in this list, but they’re not so we have to go with another iconic pairing. No, not the Ice Climbers. I’m talking about the Mario Brothers, Mario Mario and Luigi Mario. You might be grumbling that PDG and Martinook aren’t these two but I’m talking about importance here, not looks, at least not in this one. Nintendo is, arguably, the house that the Mario Brothers built. They’re extremely important, just like these two Finns are to the Hurricanes so it’s fitting that the face of one franchise and his plucky sidekick match up with the face of another franchise and his…. Plucky brother. Also, Luigi can be straight lethal, one of his smash attacks is a throat jab. That is straight up TT’s wrist shot.
Another easy one. This is one I teased on twitter. Our fist pumping, hard wrist shot shooting, knocking people into the bench Russian rookie is none other than the hard hitting, space occupying Donkey Kong. This one started with the Andrei’s fist pump and never looked back. Andrei’s pure power on the ice and Donkey Kong is pure power on the stage. Watch Andrei outmuscle people at the front of the net now and tell you you don’t see some Donkey Kong in that kid.
We all saw the mustache. You were all probably expecting Mario Mario (look, his name is absurd, i’m going to keep saying it). BUT you forgot my trap card! Dr. Mario! Not quite as good as normal Mario but still mustachioed and good at causing a nuisance this one is all mustache powered. I briefly considered Wario, but didn’t have the heart to make Martinook a villain anymore than Brind’amour already has by putting him on the first line.
Phillip Di Guiseppe and Brock McGinn
Honestly, if Waluigi was a playable character then this would be a slam dunk. But he’s not so I’m left with a decision to make. And honestly, it’s surprisingly easy. They’re the Ice Climbers. They’re linked together from their draft positions to their performance on the ice. You expect a bit more out of them and you’re always surprised when they do something good. They can be punishing to the opponent when played the right way, but just like the Ice Climbers they’re often misused and perhaps a little forgotten.
This is another easy one. He’s fast, causes chaos, and sometimes over extends himself. That’s right he’s the blue blur himself, Sonic the Hedgehog! Sometimes too fast for his own good, Sonic can bounce off walls with the best of them, just like Warren. If mastered, you can use his speed to control the board, just like Warren has the potential to control the ice with his tenacious forecheck. Just needs a little more practice.
Honestly, I like Jordan. He’s a good player who is overslotted for his age and skill-set. None of that really matters here of course, but I had to say it. He’s a good guy, kind of boring on the ice but apparently fun in the locker room. That isn’t going to stop me from labelling him as the Mii Fighter from Smash Brothers Ultimate. Kind of does some stuff pretty well. Doesn’t truly excel at anything. Just kind of meh.
Another surprisingly easy one. Our emotionless boy becomes the emotionless Wii Fit Trainer. Like, seriously. It’s perfect.
Micheal Ferland has attitude and scores goals. How does he do that? Muscles his way up to the net and taps in a pass from the Finnish boy wonders. For that reason alone, well… and the attitude on the ice, he’s Bowser. Powerful and mean (I’m sure Ferland isn’t going around and stealing princesses) Bowser is a force to be reckoned with, just like Ferland when he’s on the ice (and healthy).
Lucas Wallmark’s first full season as a NHL pro is really starting to kick into gear. No longer being used in a purely defensive role in call ups, he’s playing with Svechnikov and having fun doing it. King Wallmark (from his AHL days) isn’t a king here though. He’s just Lucas, from Earhbound. Versatile and tricky. They also share the same name so… slam dunk.
Mr. Game 7? Old? The ‘dad’ in the room? This is another easy one! Mr. Game and Watch. Okay, who is next. Right, the defense.
From Justin to….. Justin. He’s kind of wild, packs a rocket of a shot and sometimes gets put in the box. He’s got some rugged facial hair and some flow. He’s Solid Snake! Faulk?! Faulk?! FAUUUUULK!!!
Calvin de Haan
He’s solid defensively and knows where to put the puck. De Haan has bucked the trend of free agent signings going poorly. He’s got a great attitude and I rarely see the guy not smiling. He’s Yoshi. Bouncy, fun, knows what to do.
Sure, he likes things that are different from what hockey players are suppose to like, allegedly. He’s a wizard in the offensive zone when given the chance and can absolutely light the other time on fire. He’s got a hell of a shot to boot. He’s Ness! Another Earthbound fighter. Able to dazzle the opposition with PK and some magic tricks, he not afraid to get up close and personal with his big hitting baseball bat!
Another contender for the “hey he looks italian, make him Mario” award. Pesce is actually quite difficult. Defensively sound with a big shot that doesn’t really find it’s way to the net. Mobile and more than willing to block a shot. He’s Marth from Fire Emblem! Relying heavily on his counter and timing the big swing, Marth manages to move around the stage fairly well. He’s got a bevy of defensive talent and can really hurt you with a big shot, if he manages to land it.
Can you imagine how annoying it is to play against Jaccob Slavin every night? Able to make up for his mistakes and confound his opponents, or just take over a shift, the Hurricanes haven’t really had a guy like him before. In short, he’s amazing for us but an absolute headache for everyone else, including Connor McDavid. So… who is incredibly hard to play against? King K Rool! Seriously, I played against him online and that dude is annoying as hell to beat. If it isn’t his cannonball gun, it’s his counter, or his ability to control space (a la Slavin). He’s hard to beat.
Haydn Fleury and Trevor Van Riemsdyk
Another pairing. I like both of these guys. I feel like Hayden deserves more ice time but Trevor is holding his own after a few rough patches to start the season. If only Hayden could stay healthy. So these to reliable but unspectacular pairing are? The Duck Hunt Duo! I have no real logic for this, but it’s my list and I’m sticking to it.
For now, I’m going to pretend goalies don’t exist so… on to honorable mentions!
Full of potential, you can see it when he’s on the ice but he’s got some evolving to do before he his the big club. Martin Necas, for now, is Pichu. Full of potential, but if he’s not careful he’s going to hurt himself.
Our in game announcer extraordinaire is the one and the only, Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff is the only combatant with the lungs to match Wade’s amazing goal calls.
Technically not a part of the organization but only a few months in and she has really ingrained herself with the fans of this franchise. It’d be criminal not to have her on the list. A powerhouse in her own right, it only makes sense to match her with the galactic bounty hunter with a penchant for mayhem, Samus.
He’s been around since the beginning. He’s synonymous with the franchise. He’s got all the tools you’d want. He’s Link! A bit of a weird choice, but it makes sense. Forslund is super talented and versatile, just like our elven hero. Does that make Tripp Tracy Princess Zelda? Let’s find out!
I like Tripp, most of the time. He’s earnest and a bit weird. It makes for an amusing combo. I kind of struggled with this one until I remembered King Dedede. It’s perfect. He’s weird, but kind of heartfelt. He has a fun moveset and adds a bit of color.
And that’s it, I think.
— OverlyOptimisticCaniac (@OptimistiCaniac) December 22, 2018